Tories to debate abolition of fire, ambulance services

We have a “moral duty” not to run around saving lives

no ambulance

Delegates to the Conservative party conference in October 2015 will have the chance to debate the abolition of state-funded fire and ambulance services. And in an unexpected twist, it seems likely that the proposal will be supported by Prime Minister, David Cameron, who has already indicated that he believes this to be a “moral issue”.

No bail-outs

The motion, to be moved by one-time parliamentary candidate Major Des Astor (retd) on behalf of Little Wittering Conservative Association recognises that support for the emergency services is based on the best of motives. However, it notes that spending large sums on rescuing people in crisis is not an effective use of resources and in many instances could be “wasteful” and “inappropriate”.

Worse, according to Major Astor: “if people know that someone is going to bail them out when they have a heart attack, or their house catches fire, they might be inclined to be less careful with their own health and safety.”

No idea

Surprise encouragement for the Wittering position came from Prime Minister, David Cameron, who said: “Anyone who has seen pictures of people in hospital could not help but be moved and, as a father, and, I hope, future owner of a bijou holiday home in Cornwall, I have been deeply moved by stories of landlords who have been near bankrupted by house fires. And homeowners, obviously.

fire brigade

“Britain is a moral nation and we will always fulfil our moral responsibilities.

“However, we have, too, a moral duty not to waste taxpayers’ money on well-meaning, but essentially old-fashioned and sentimental projects, like saving the lives of people who have failed to take adequate precautions in the first place.”

Footnote: Ambulance pic is based on “Emergency Ambulance Southampton England 2008” by Carlesmari – Own work. Licensed under CC BY 3.0 via Commons.

The fire engine is from Australia and the image is understood to be out of copyright and in the public domain.

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About janefae

On my way from here to there
This entry was posted in Humour, Parody and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Tories to debate abolition of fire, ambulance services

  1. Fles says:

    Please tell me this is satire – with this lot, I honestly can’t tell any more.

    Like

    • janefae says:

      well, yes…when in doubt, check the tags and the categories. Word of warning: this blog will continue to be a mix of real news and made-up. The latter will always be tagged as spoof or parody…unless i forget!

      So if you see a story like this and no tag, suggest you ask, cause it might be true. As a f’rinstance…the Brits on a train piece i did yesterday is about 99% true…although i marked it as spoof because of the spin i added.

      But the only outright untruth was the “commentators have likened this to the Black Hole of Calcutta”…and it would not entirely surprise me if some Kipper somewhere had made that comparison.

      This piece…well, the Wittering Conservatives are pure fiction, as is Major Des Astor (a pun…just say it aloud!!!).

      However, the Cameron comment is sort of what he said today about refugees…go compare and contrast.

      janexx

      Liked by 1 person

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