Brits on a train migrant horror!

zombies with captionHundreds of innocent Brits were left terrified, screaming and fearful for their lives last night after being harassed by gangs of criminal migrants desperate to board a Eurostar bound for the UK.

Hardened reporters for the Telegraph, Express and Daily Mail were left visibly shaken after they heard how passengers were left in the dark, in temperatures of up to 35C, for over two hours. Up to 1,000 were forced to wait as long as six hours until their next meal: many are still mourning the cancellation of their trip to Disneyland.

Commentators are already likening the passengers’ ordeal to the Black Hole of Calcutta incident of 1756, when 123 British day-trippers died after they were confined to a tiny dungeon cell in the city of Calcutta.

According to precisely one traveller, reported everywhere: “We spent an unbelievable amount of time in the dark, in an air that was hard to breath.

“I saw people who were finding it hard not to totally go off the rails.

“Some people started screaming and threatening to smash the windows. It must have been 35C in there.”

Three trains were cancelled, and one was delayed for an incredible 16 hours, after authorities warned that some foreigners might just possibly have climbed on to the roof of their Eurostar, and those onboard should listen very, very carefully indeed and tell the guard if they heard anything.

Passengers condemned Eurostar’s decsion to switch off power on the grounds that leaving it on might endanger the lives of police and migrants. One tweeter tweeted:
“Can’t you just run them over? That might be just the message the rest of Calais Jungle needs to hear.”

Meanwhile, as nighttime temperatures in Calais plummeted to an arctic 11C, one stranded passenger tweeted: “We’ve been abandoned on a platform somewhere in the cold with NO INFORMATION”.

At this point in time, it is not possible to confirm whether this individual has survived.

Footnote: So far this year, it is believed that at least 12 migrants have died trying to enter the UK via Calais.

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About janefae

On my way from here to there
This entry was posted in Humour, Parody and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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